One word of warning. Your early progress will be limited by how much you practice. Sorry, but even to bluff and fake it by learning this bare minimum, basic, essential stuff you will have to be able to play some chords, and it takes a while for your fingers to learn to make the right shapes and to change between the different shapes at a workable speed.

By the way, we’re not just going to teach you a handful of chords and then cut you adrift: we will be building on each step in the teaching process. However, we will be teaching these early lessons in a modular fashion, and each lesson will leave you with the raw material to play more songs or to add extra features, flourishes and flashy bits to the songs you already know.

Here’s a little secret that may encourage you. By learning just three or four chords you will be able to play along with literally hundreds of the most well known songs!

Let’s get started.

This time we will learn three easy chords. Just three, but that’s enough to allow you to strum along to a song. In this article we will just cover the practical aspects of actually playing the chords and your first song. However, we will soon be adding a link to another page that explains a bit more of how music works with relation to what you learn here. I recommend that you check out that page too, but if you don’t you’ll still learn the song!

So, a guitar has six strings. When you hold the guitar and look down, the thickest strings are nearest to you and the thinest are nearest the floor. Despite this, we generally call the thick bass strings the low or bottom strings and the thin ones are called the high or top strings. That’s because we are talking about the pitch of the notes that the strings play.

Starting with the thickest string and working our way towards the floor, the strings are tuned to E A D G B E. If we were to pluck these in that order we would say that we were working our way up from bottom E to high or top E, because the pitch of the notes gets higher.

In the chord diagrams below, the vertical lines represent the strings (with the thick bass strings at the left). The horizontal lines represent the wire frets that go across the fingerboard, and the top horizontal line of each diagram represent the plastic or bone “nut” that the strings go over as they leave the fretboard and go up to the tuners. The note for each string is written at the top end of the string, just above the nut.

The numbered dots show where to put your fingers. The numbers correspond to specific fingers: index=1, middle=2, ring=3 and pinkie=4. Where a string has an X at the nut it means don’t play that string as that note doesn’t fit into the chord properly, and it’ll sound better without it.

Our first three chords are the three chords you would need to play a basic 12-bar blues in the key of A. If you hear a chord or a musical key referred to just by its letter, without the words Major or minor, then Major is probably what is meant. So here we have three chords in the key of A Major, namely E, A and D.

To play the chord, start on the first string that is to be played (so if there is an X you would start on the next string) and strum down with your pick or thumb. The notes should sound pretty much simultaneously.

To make your chords sound good, check the following:

• position your fingers just behind the frets, not on them nor in the middle of the space. You will notice that the sound is cleaner and free of buzzing
• use your finger tips where the rigors of hand contortion will allow. Using the tips of fingers will help you to avoid accidentally damping adjacent strings
• with your fingers fretting the chord shapes, pluck the strings one at a time. If a string sound buzzy or muted then check the points above and adjust your finger/hand position

It will take a bit of time to get your chords sounding clean, but it’ll come.

Once you have the chords sounding fairly good and clear, then you should practice changing between them. This is the other thing that takes practice.

With these three chords you will be able to play hundreds of songs. You might not realise it immediately, but you’ll learn to spot them in songs by the sound. Some songs will use the equivalent chords in other keys (more on this concept soon) so it may not work if you try to play along with your A, D and E chords. The reason I chose the chords in the key of A is that they are amongst the easiest on a beginner’s hands.

Once you can have a fair crack at these chords, try playing the following song. Hopefully everyone knows this one!

La Bamba

See if you can work out the following songs with your three chords.

• “The Great Pretender” - Various
• “You Are My Sunshine” - Various
• “Folsom Prison Blues” - Johnny Cash
• “I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles)” - Proclaimers
• “I Wanna Be Sedated” - Ramones
• “Hotel Yorba” - White Stripes
• “Wild Thing” - Trogs
• “Three Steps to Heaven” - Eddie Cochran
• Any 12-bar blues song…

You’ll soon get to recognise songs that feature three chords, and we’ll be adding to the list above regularly.

Next lesson: more three-chord songs, a bit of explanation, plus… Four Chord Songs! Learning just one more chord adds hundreds more songs you’ll be able to play!

Some of the initial lesson articles will be in the form of quick-start or “bluffers’” guides aimed at teaching the basics that one needs to start playing songs as quickly as possible. These will be unashamedly superficial. They will teach things like the basic chords and progressions that are used in thousands of the most popular songs. In-depth tutorials on music theory and instrument technique will follow but, in keeping with the philosophy of the site, the stuff we’ll be producing most urgently will be the stuff that will cut through the crap and enable you to stand up with a bunch of other musicians and just play!

The first couple of articles will appear in the next few days and will be quick-start guides for guitar and mandolin.

Also on the way are more in our series concerning which instruments beginners may like to consider learning.

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Right first off this is not going to be a definitive list. I expect to miss things out (it’s been a while since I played a gig after all and the memory ain’t what it used to be) but others can add things in comments later if they like. Much of this is common sense but you’d be surprised how often young and inexperienced (hell, even supposedly experienced) bands forget some or all of this stuff. It’s easy to get caught up in the excitement of playing the gig without thinking about how to make sure the gig goes as smoothly as possible.

So here goes, in no particular order:

1. Turn up on time.

This should be a no-brainer. But if you’re given a time to be at the venue then be there. Times are set for a reason, to fit into a schedule. The schedule is there so that everything can be set up and checked before doors open and so the bands (and staff) get some time to relax before the gig.

During the gig be on stage and ready to go for your allotted stage time. And don’t play longer than you’ve been given. If you do you’re a bunch of cocks. Simple. You might think you’re acting like rock stars but you’re just acting like dickheads and eating into someone else’s time. Follow the times given to you.

2. Leads, plugs and batteries

Make sure you bring spare leads for guitars and plugs and fresh batteries for any effects you may have. Don’t expect the venue or other bands to have because sod’s law says they won’t. You don’t want to have to “make do” and get as close to the sound you want with just an amp you don’t know and whatever effects still have life in them. If you use effects then make sure you bring what you need to use them on the night.

3. Strings

This is simple. There is no excuse for having to play through a set with a broken string. None. If you’re about to open your mouth and give me an excuse then stop, don’t waste your breath. There is no excuse! You have two options here. Bring spare strings and practice changing them quickly. Or the one I prefer, bring a spare guitar. It’s quicker, and easier to change guitar than to change strings.

Also remember to change your strings before every gig and break them in. This means you’re playing with fresh strings that will stay in tune and will be less likely to break. If you really have problems with string breakage then take your guitar to a shop and get it checked over. Key problem areas are the saddle and the nut. You could also look at your picking technique, perhaps you’re digging at the string too much or pushing down too hard while palm muting. I’ve never broken a string live and can’t remember the last time I broke one during practice.

4. Backline

Find ouy before the gig what you are expected to bring along. If you are required to take an amp but can’t, then tell the promoter. Don’t wait until the day of the gig for them to find out.

Drummers, even if you don’t have to take your kit you will have to take your own cymbals, pedals and snare. Again don’t expect the venue or other bands to help, they might not and you’ll be screwed. The rest of your own band will hate you.

5. Practice

If you can’t play the songs before the gig you won’t be able to magically play them on the night. Practice and don’t gig until you’re ready. Unless you’re some kind of miracle this will usually be 6 months to a year after your inception. Maybe less if you’ve already written the songs.

6. Tuners

Buy a tuner. It’s one of the best purchases you can make. Don’t buy a cheap one that sits on your table and you occasionally plug your guitar into at home. Buy a floor tuner like a Boss TU-2. They’re fantastic, never break and they have a bypass so the audience don’t have to listen to you tuning. Everyone should own one. Seriously. You can also power your other pedals off of one.

7. Don’t apologise

Don’t apologise because it’s your first gig. If I hear you say this on stage I’ll instantly dislike you. If it’s your first gig then ok you might be more nervous than usual but don’t apologise for it. As long as you know your own songs you’ll be fine. No-one else has heard them so we don’t notice if you fuck them up. Just take a breath, smile (or gurn if you’re a metal band) and carry on.

Think that’ll do for now. Obviously there’s lots more to remember but these are the ones that really annoy me when watching bands who are just starting out. They’re also the ones that are easy to fix. Most of these are common sense so why don’t bands do them? You are booked to play a gig so you turn up when you’re supposed to turn up, able to do the job you’ve been booked to do and with the correct equipment.

* * * * *

Originally published at http://www.aberdeen-music.com/forums/. Reprinted by permission of the author. Cheers, Chris.

I’m serious. I played guitar badly for decades and thought I was having fun. Then I took up bass guitar, which I played badly for some years, and thought I was having fun. More recently, I took up tenor banjo, which I played badly, but I thought I was having fun. Then, a couple of years ago, I discovered mandolin. I’m a pretty slow learner but, despite that, I’m actually playing reasonably well… and I’m definitely having fun!

As you may have gathered, after guitar and bass I kind of gave up on fashionable instruments. In the USA, despite it being the home of bluegrass music (a genre invented by a mandolin player), mandolin is still a minority instrument. In the UK, mando, as we who are au fait sometimes call it, is really pretty rare. In fact, outside the Republic of Ireland it’s mostly only Fairport Convention fans who even recognise them. Oh, and occasionally Scottish people. Not the English or Welsh though. As far as most English and Welsh people are concerned they are ukuleles or “little guitars”, so you’ll find a few pictures in this article just to make sure we all know what a mandolin is.

Enough waffle. These days, mandolins are probably mostly associated with bluegrass music in the USA. In The UK and Ireland they mostly crop up in folk music and in Irish and Scottish traditional music (as played by Planxty’s Andy Irvine and The Dubliners’ John Sheahan and Barney McKenna). Oddly, mandolin is actually a relative newcomer to the trad instrument arsenal.

Mandolin in jazz and blues is less common, but by no means unheard of. The late Jethro Burns and David Grisman have both contributed greatly to jazz mandolin, and Yank Rachel was one of the few original bluesmen who chose it as his instrument.

Very recently, mandolin has started to nudge its way more often into other styles, including rock. One notable champion of the instrument who embraces just about all styles of music, including rock, blues, bluegrass and reggae, is Sam Bush.

So those are the contexts into which mandolin might fit.

Mandolin is an eight-string, instrument which is played with a pick, a bit like guitar. The eight strings are tuned in unison pairs (two adjacent strings tuned to the same note), so it is effectively like playing something with just four strings. The tuning, going from bass to treble is GDAE, the same as a violin. Anyone who can play violin will find the transition to mandolin very simple.

The scale length is very short, again similar to violin and, as mando is tuned in 5ths, the scales of G Major and D Major fall right under the fingers of even small hands with minimal stretching. Many basic chords can be played with just two fingers. For the absolute beginner, the basics of mandolin are astonishingly easy to get the hang of.

Mandolin is an incredibly portable instrument. It is small and light, and when it comes to packing up time, the mandolin player is the envy of all other band members as they struggle out of the gig venue under the weight of their larger instruments!

There are, of course, disadvantages. Mandolin can be a little quiet, and is sometimes drowned out by louder instruments, especially banjos and squeezeboxes. Another slight bummer is price. A decent mandolin, even an entry level one, is hard to find for less than £350. There are playable ones that come cheaper, but the tone and volume of cheaper mandolins is almost invariably weak, no matter how good they may look.

There are a number of kinds of mandolin, and some are more suited to certain musical styles than others. Flat top or “Celtic” mandolins as built by Sobell, Jimmy Moon, Freshwater and Garrison and others are excellent for folk and Irish/Scottish traditional music, but their sound is not appropriate for bluegrass, and they generally struggle with blues and rock too.

Archtop mandolins in both scroll and teardrop styles are the weapon of choice for bluegrass, jazz and blues. Their sound is punchier and less delicate than that of the flat top variety. Archtops come with either f-shaped soundholes like a violin, or oval holes more like a guitar or flat top mando. The f-hole models are preferred for bluegrass because of the trademark percussive “chop” sound achievable with that configuration. These models are based on the Gibson A and F ranges.

For rockers there are several electric options, ranging from pickup-equipped version of the models described above to solid body instruments styled like baby versions of Fender Telecasters and Gibson Flying Vs and Firebirds.

One of the great things about mandolin is that its unfamiliarity makes it a focus of interest, and you’ll get plenty of people asking questions about it.

When it comes to buying, it is surprisingly hard to advise. The choice will be dictated by the style of music and the budget. Unless you are 100% certain that you will only ever want to perform folk and Celtic traditional tunes, I would steer you away from flat top mandos - lovely, and relatively inexpensive though they are. I started on one but found it limiting when my interest widened to other musical genres.

A purely subjective and personal opinion, but I would recommend an A style (the teardrop shape), f-hole archtop mandolin. In my opinion that is where the optimum mix of value and versatility is to be found. The F style (scrolly shape) adds nothing to the sound, but that extra carving does bump the price up.

I really do strongly advise saving for a decent quality entry-level mandolin. Once one resigns oneself to spending over £350 on a first instrument a couple of obvious choices emerge. Eastman produces handmade mandolins in a modern factory in China. This is a quality operation, and the instrument they make are extremely good value for money. Their 505 and 605 models are recommended as a first instrument. Similarly, J Bovier is a newcomer that is turning heads by delivering good quality and sound at a low price, although they haven’t yet built the rep that Eastman has. Whatever you decide to buy, at least make sure it is constructed from solid woods, and not laminate/plywood.

For the absolute cash-strapped beginner, Crafter do their M70E model. This is unorthodox in that it is shaped like a small acoustic guitar. It has a synthetic bowl back, like many Ovation-derived instruments and has a pickup built in. The acoustic sound is only so-so, but it is pretty good when plugged in. Also, it is a very tough instrument, and at about £150 is cheap enough for the most desperate prospective mandolinist. I have one of these, and it is actually quite playable.

Overall, though, I recommend that the beginner take a close look at the Eastman range. Your best bet for suppliers is, in our opinion, either GiannaViolins.com in the USA or TheAcousticMusicCo.co.uk in the UK. Both Stephen at Gianna and Trevor at TAMCO are experts with good reputations and competitive prices.

DIY Live Music has no connection with, or financial interest in, either of those two companies (except for the author being a two-time very satisfied customer of The Acoustic Music Company), but anyone in the mandolin community will rate them amongst the best, so we want to point you in the right direction for advice and service. None of our affiliate partners specialises in mandolin to the extent that those two companies do.

Mandolin is a fantastic instrument. It is cool, interesting, fun to play and portable, as we have said. It fills a sonic space left free by guitar and bass and so fits well into many band configurations. And it attracts attention!

Anyway, time for the joke. Only one I’m afraid: mando jokes are a bit thin on the ground. Obviously that’s because it’s such a great thing to play and everyone loves it (heh heh…).

Q: How do you get two mandolin players in tune?
A: Shoot one

Next time: banjo! (plenty of gags there!)

One of the big shocks for the beginner (especially if that person has heard too many drummer jokes) is to discover that learning drums is not the easy, for-dummies option that they expected it to be. Ok, maybe you don’t have to learn scales, modes, arpeggios and harmonic theory, but drumming at a professional level can still involve a chunky subset of musical theory, albeit focused on rhythm. It is possible to be a purely instinctive drummer, but if you’re ever going to try to get musical concepts across to others, or understand their concepts, then you’re going to need the vocabulary of note durations, rests, time signatures, syncopation… and more.

Drumming is a very, very satisfying role within a band. The sense of rhythm is one of the most basic elements in music. It is built into us, and hammering away on a set of skins is an entirely natural and organic feeling. It allows the player to unleash creativity, energy - even aggression - and showmanship in one burst. It is also a vitally important role. A good drummer can cement a performance together and keep everyone focused and driven. A bad drummer can ruin everything and disorientate the whole band.

Drumming requires the development of physical skills and stamina. It can require real strength and endurance - next time the Red Hot Chilli Peppers play a gig on TV, just watch that guy work and ask yourself how long you could keep that up! It also requires coordination, the ability to work four (unless you’re in Def Leppard) limbs independently and accurately.

Drumming has great advantages. It keeps you fit, for one. Good drummers are usually pretty much in demand too, so once you have the chops down you should get gigs. Note that I say “good drummers”; crap ones are ten a penny, like bad guitarists.

Like all instruments there are downsides too. Practicing can be a pain. Using quiet practice pads simply isn’t the same as practicing on a full kit, and practicing on a full kit is frequently very unpopular with family members and neighbours. Where practicing is concerned, the drummer probably has to compromise more than any other band member.

Size and portability must also be something to bear in mind. As well as taking up a lot of room in your practice space, a drum kit is bulky and difficult to carry. Drums require good cases if they are to stand very much transportation and remain intact.

A basic kit might have just four drums: bass or “kick”, snare and a couple of tom toms, but a more usual set up would have three tom toms and five drums in total. It will also probably have three cymbals: hi-hat, crash and ride.

While £250 might get you a reasonable starter kit from a recognised name, it won’t be long before you start to outgrow it, and before you start to feel self conscious about gigging with relatively lightweight kit. Drums, therefore, cannot be seen as an inexpensive instrument to play. That said, however, by the time guitarists and bass players are fully tooled up with amplifiers and effects, even if their instruments are budget ones, they may well be spending sums in the same ball park as a reasonable drum kit.

As always, our advice is to save as long as your patience holds out and then buy the best you can afford. Just bear in mind that you may need to start with a basic option or face the possibility that you’ll just never get started. Even a basic starter kit can be sold later to help fund an upgrade once you are sure that your enthusiasm will last and that the drum kit is the right instrument for you.

And as usual we recommend getting advice from someone with experience, checking and comparing reviews of instruments within your budget, buying from a reputable supplier (online, for best prices) and using a credit card for the consumer protection it offers.

We suggest the online retailers linked below who are established and offer competitive pricing.

In the USA, click the link below:	In the UK, click the link below:

Oh, I nearly forgot the jokes. Hmm… where to start? There are just so many drummer jokes! Please bear in mind that drummers ARE proper musicians, and that all the jokes are tongue-in-cheek with no harm meant!

Q: What do you call a guy who hangs around annoying musicians?
A: A drummer

Q: How can you tell there’s a drummer at your door?
A: The knocking keeps speeding up and slowing down

Q: How can you tell when the drum riser is level?
A: The drummer drools out of both sides of his mouth

And finally, my favourite…

Q: What’s the difference between a drummer and a drum machine?
A: You only have to punch instructions into a drum machine once!

Next time: mandolin!

The Ploughmen: The Red Lion, Breachwood Green, Herts, UK. Tuesday 28th August 2007. 8.30pm

An informal acoustic gig. Guest musicians (acoustic) and audience participation welcome!

Line-up: banjo, guitars, mandolin, double bass, sax, percussion and vocals.

Set: folk, rock, blues, bluegrass, rockabilly. Hayseed Dixie style tongue-in-cheek cover versions in styles you wouldn’t expect.

Gig promo’s will be posted in a ‘Gig List’ category, so anyone who clicks on that category in the menu will be able to see the most recent gigs posted. Gig reports will work in the same way, but will be found in a category called (surprisingly) ‘Gig Reports’!

For the time being, please email your forthcoming gig details and gig reports to diylivemusic@gmail.com. Later we’ll see about a facility where you will be able to join up and post the details direct to the site, but for now it’s email, please.

There are all kinds of electric guitars, from deep bodied jazz models to pointy heavy metal shred-machines. At some point you may have your heart set on one or another of these, or an equivalent variant, but when you first start out the best value is to be found in the famous classic designs of Gibson and Fender. These are the guitars that built rock and roll and which still power the world’s top bands. These are the archetypal shapes that everyone knows and loves.

The mighty Gibson guitar company has produced a low priced line of Epiphone/Gibson branded guitars which are similar in almost every regard to Gibson’s coveted top line instruments. All the features that made the Gibsons great are here: mahogany bodies, glued necks, Gibson-designed pickups. Affordable versions of the guitars played by Slash, AC/DC’s Angus Young, Noel Gallagher etc.

Similarly, Fender - the other long-time giant of the industry - has its own low-price, but good quality, versions of its all-conquering classic guitars. Fender Squier guitars bring versions of the guitars preferred by Jimi Hendrix, Clapton, Rory Gallagher and Status Quo within the budget of the beginning guitar player.

Both Epiphone and Squier guitars are easily of good enough quality for live performance - even professional performance. For the purposes of this article we will concentrate on two specific models: the Epiphone G-400 (Gibson SG) and the Fender Squier Stratocaster. There are other models within the two ranges that may appeal, and the reliability and quality praised here extends to the other models too, but as I can vouch for these two specific guitars from personal experience, it’s the SG and the Strat that are discussed here.

The Epiphone SG (top image) is a beautiful instrument, and staggeringly similar to the genuine Gibson SG I owned some years ago. The solid mahogany body is attached to the neck with the traditional Gibson-style glued joint, rather than the bolts typical of cheaper copies. This, combined with two powerful humbucking pickups makes for a guitar that delivers the thick, robust tone and long sustain that one expects from an SG. The neck is slim and comfortable.

Through a valve amplifier the humbuckers have the power to give a nice overdriven crunch, while through a clean amp setting there is that characteristic Gibson honk and full bass. This is a rock and roll and blues guitar, a guitar that wants to play screaming overdriven solos and crunchy power chords. This is a guitar which may get bored if it is asked to play country music or jazz. For many people, the sound of rock guitar is the sound of a Gibson guitar through a Marshall valve amplifier. Well, here’s half that of that team!

Fender’s Squier Stratocaster (above right image) is perhaps a little more versatile than the Epiphone SG. The single coil pickups have the advantage of being able to deliver a clean tone with plenty of clear, ringing high frequencies. This guitar, along with its stablemate, the Telecaster are not only monsters of rock, but they have a basic tonal clarity that makes them equally suited for country, blues and jazz.

The SG is a more refined looking and feeling instrument. Its appearance yells “quality” and it feels pretty posh. The humbucking pickups, as the name implies, make it resistant to a lot of the spurious electrical noise that can plague single coil instruments like the Strat. Gibson instruments have a slightly shorter scale length than Fenders, so some people may find that the SG seems slightly easier to play.

The Strat lacks the finesse of construction displayed by the SG, but it has the advantage of that clean tone that can be shaped to pretty much any stylistic requirement. The Strat is a tougher instrument too, and may well stand up to knocks and hard treatment better than the SG.

There is no clear winner in a comparison. Gibson style instruments have their fans, as do Fenders. What these budget models have in common is that they deliver the closest possible resemblance to the “real” thing at a very decent price. The designs are approved by Gibson and Fender and the instruments made by official subsidiary companies.

At the end of the day, the choice will probably come down to who your guitar heroes are and the style of music you play. An AC/DC fan will probably lean toward the SG, while a Hendrix wannabe will, no doubt, snap up a Strat!

One final note… Fender also do a “Standard” series of instruments which are the entry level for genuine Fender-branded guitars, including Stratocasters and Telecasters. For those with the resources, or the patience to save just that bit longer, the Fender Standard Stratocaster (above left image) may be within reach. The Squier is a fine compromise at a very low price, but some people just can’t live without that Fender logo on the headstock.

Here are links to some reputable suppliers whose prices are usually competitive. You may like to check out their prices for the instruments discussed above. Bearing in mind that internet prices are often lower than those offered by bricks and mortar stores, we recommend that you purchase from established, well known sites, and that you use a credit card where possible for the additional consumer protection it provides.

In the USA, click the link below:	In the UK, click the link below:

Not only does bass form an essential part of the overall sound of the band, but it lends itself to virtuoso playing just as the guitar does. Flea from Red Hot Chilli Peppers, Les Claypool from Primus, Paul McCartney, Lemmy and Sting are just a few people who have demonstrated that the bass player need not languish unnoticed at the back of the stage!

There are a number of playing styles. Some people play with a pick, some play fingerstyle, some people slap and pop… Most people play one note at a time, but some (Lemmy from Motorhead, for example) actually strum chords some of the time.

To play bass well takes a great deal of commitment and practice, as with any instrument. When it comes to the basics, however, bass is quite an easy starter instrument. A standard bass guitar has just four strings, and most bass lines consist of single notes played consecutively, so it isn’t immediately necessary to learn chord shapes. At the very basic level a beginner can get away with just playing the root note of each chord (the note the chord is named after). Next step they may play bass lines based on the root and 5th intervals (if that means nothing to you, don’t worry about it. It’s easy stuff to learn when the time comes). Then one might learn scales and chord tones until one soon learns to build up good lines.

Bass guitar is a fine instrument. When played fingerstyle it is an incredibly tactile instrument and very satisfying to play. Acoustic bass guitars are available as well as electric ones, so the cash-strapped beginner can get started without amplification - and could even cut his/her teeth with an acoustic band to start with.

Every instrument has its disadvantages and bass guitar is no exception. If you have small hands, the long neck on a bass can mean some pretty awkward stretches. That can be eased some by selecting a bass with a shorter than average scale (length), but the stretches are still longer than for guitar. It can be a bit off-putting for a beginner, but take heart: in the 1970s a very small lady bass player named Suzi Quatro had great chart success and showed that it is possible to be a very capable bassist even with small hands.

As bass amplifiers have to be more bulky and powerful than an equivalent guitar amplifier and, as bass guitars themselves are quite large and weighty, a bass player’s gear can take a bit of lugging about to gigs. Not the most easily portable option!

Still, as we say, a great instrument.

Oh yeah, mustn’t forget the bass player gags…

Q: How do you get a bass player off your doorstep?
A: Pay for the pizza.

Or…

Q: How do you confuse a bass player?
A: Put one of his strings out of tune, but don’t tell him which one.

Next time: drums!

If you’re a fantastic natural singer, then good for you. You’re ready to go. For the rest of us, a bit of basic ability with one or another musical instrument is the very least we need to achieve.

I suppose many people will have their hearts set on a specific instrument, but for those who have yet to firmly decide, or who may fancy a change, let’s have a bit of a look at some of the options. This article will concentrate on guitar

Guitar:

Is the obvious one. Guitars are seen as essential in many musical genres. Guitars are sexy, versatile and they sound great. Everyone wants to play guitar, and that’s the problem: everyone does play guitar. It is generally not hard to find a guitarist as there are so many of them. If you are, or plan to be, a guitarist, you may find you have to compete harder for that same reason.

Decent guitars can be bought relatively cheaply with decent electric and acoustic models being available for well under £200. The only thing to bear in mind costwise is that if you go the electric route you’ll also need to budget for an amplifier. Again, it need not be a bank breaker: reasonable combo amps (ones with the amplfier and speaker built into the same box) can be had quite cheaply. A 50 watt combo is enough to get you started playing gigs, and if you shop around you’ll find some good stuff around the £200 mark.

We will be adding specific instrument and gear reviews over the next few weeks, but if you decide guitar is for you, then as a starting point we’d suggest looking for a good, competitively priced online outlet and checking out the prices on Fender Squier and Epiphone electric guitars (low-priced versions of the classic rock and roll axes) , Washburn and Yamaha acoustic guitars, and Marshall amplifiers.

The basics of guitar are not too difficult to learn with a bit of determination, and there is no shortage of teachers and tutorial material. At the basic level it should be possible to learn enough chords to play basic accompaniment to a song within a few weeks of first picking up the instrument. Although some chords demand a bit of perseverance (Just wait until the first time someone tries to teach you an F chord…), guitar can be played in styles suitable even for those with smallish hands.

Best of all, guitars are great fun to play. They sit on your lap and can really feel like part of you once you get comfortable playing a few tunes. A guitar is brilliant for rocking out and soloing. The more you put into learning, the more you will get out of it.

The first things to learn are generally chords. They help you to learn your way around the fretboard, and can form the basis of an accompaniment to songs. Some famous players never bothered with melody lines and simply belted out a rhythm. A handful of chords will get you through the entire Ramones back catalogue, and if that ain’t good news, then I don’t know what is!

The quickest way to learn without acquiring bad habits is to go to a good teacher. CDs, books and DVDs can all help, but they all tend to cover only a limited range of material. For those who can’t find or afford a good teacher there are a number of fine teaching resources available via the web. Here are links to a couple you may like to check out:

Firstly, The Guitar Alliance Programme. This is a structured approach that guarantees results.

The Amazing Guitar Secrets Course is a very good, comprehensive package which offers free samples.

Seriously, take a look at the links. There are some great structured courses available that are nearly as good as having a real teacher. We have heard good things about the ones linked above.

And lastly, a joke. There are specific jokes about all musicians, and some of the gags get recycled to serve more than one instrument. My favourite guitar joke:

Q: What is the difference between God and a lead guitarist?
A: God doesn’t think he is a lead guitarist…

Next time, bass!